References to my "love"

Well, that relationship is over. Completely. I have no regrets, no bad feelings. I learned quite a lot from it. Now 20/20 hindsight that anything based on dishonesty nothing good will become of it. It was not me who was dishonest, but it was me who allowed it to go on. No it was not a married man or anything like that. So you may see references to or about my love. That was when I was under the impression that one day this man and I would eventually have some kind of life together. I was never lied to but I was never told the truth either. People can manipulate you by withholding information. I am not bitter and I no longer care about this person either. You know how you get those revelations after you are finally away from a situation long enough? You say, what was I thinking? Well that's where I am today. I have also done a lot of soul searching to figure out why I even got myself into the situation. I have to blame myself and my short comings to have allowed it. It has been over since July. And I am all good. Better than good!

I think I have ADD

So I'm sitting on the porch and I decide to go get the fan, cuz its kind of hot, before I even get thru the living room I have decided to start my zucchini pizza. I belong to Porter Farms CSA and there have been quite alot of zucchini in the bags the last few weeks. I pre heat the oven, (yes I know its hot), and start to slice the zucchini. I go outside to get some cherry tomatos and see the 3 kitchen floor mats I threw out there this morning, I proceed to turn on the hose and get some soap and scrub them so they can dry out in the sun. I flip them and now proceed to water my deck plants and herbs, I go in the house and pour olive oil on my sliced zucchini so they can marinate while I am puttzing outside. I go back out and pick only the reddest cherry tomato's. This is my rule, do not pick unless really red. The bigger beefsteaks are still quite green. I bring the cherry tomato's in the house. I go back outside because I forgot to water the tomato plants. I water them. I flip the kitchen mats and then scrub the other side. I turn off the hose and go back in, finish slicing the rest of the zucchini, and the cherry tomato's and get the pizza in the oven. I go into the living room, grab the fan and put it on the porch.

Yep, ADD.

I let this bake 450 oven for 20 minutes before I add the Blue Marble Jack cheese............

I love this town

I am really starting to feel like this town is my home. I have never felt so welcomed any where else. No one ever talked to me any of the other places I lived. But if I am out in my front yard, which isn't often, someone literally stops and pulls in the driveway to chat. Sarah the little old lady across the street also came by in her golf cart last week and said, come on up here honey, as she patted the seat on the golf cart. I sat next to her and she told me the names of the houses, named after people long ago gone, "That's the Lewis house, oh they don't live there any more..." and she told me stories about when her dad owned the home she is in now, 88 acres, told me to come swim in the in ground pool..."Well, we used to have a camp here, we put the pool in back then..." she was like in her late teens and she told me stories of how city kids would come to camp and she would take them to the dairy farm down the street and all the other things you could show a city kid here in the country. I could have listened to her for hours.

The house is coming along too, slowly but surely fixing it up here, decorating there. I am doing it at my own pace which is slllllooooooww, but hey, what's the hurry. I am doing a good job, how do I know? Cuz another townie stopped and told me, "You really did a good job on the house, its looking really nice.!!!  And then HE started telling me stories about my home. How the cops used to stop here at least twice a month.....
My next door neighbor Bill offered to mow the side yard for me. He is now chatty when once he wouldn't even look at me. I walked the dogs to get a Fireball ice cream cone at the Snack Shack up the street and two more neighbors I never met yet waved, nice waves too.  On my porch the birds even stop at the birdfeeders in front of me now and look at me and tweet! YES THEY DO!!!! 

The other night I got ready for bed, and when I walked into my bedroom I just looked and said, God, I LOVE my room, it actually looks like a room in one of my magazines. I love the new blue wall paint I picked and the white trim. It felt soooooo good to lay my head down somewhere where I love, where I feel welcome, where I feel home.

Next week is a big week here in town. 4th of July. Parade, carnival. Fireworks. Curley's has a band, going to a party on the lake that has bands, its going to be a nice weekend! Better pace myself and I am sure I am going to be making a lot more friends!!!!



Gnomes are with us

There is this awesome tree in my front yard, that buying the property alone makes it worth it. That is MY tree!!!
This is the kind of tree faeries and elves would live in. Yes, even Keebler elves. If this tree could talk! I wish it would tell me stories of this town. Stories of when it was only horse and buggies going by. I had dinner in Medina yesterday and I looked at the old buildings. I would have loved to just see it when it was a thriving, bustling town in ohhh sayy maybe 1930. I bet it was something! Meanwhile, my story book tree, it really comforts me, it makes me feel protected.



Around and about

If you go up my road a piece, turn right on Rt 18 in about 5 or more miles after you pass Murphys Berry's and Browns Berry Patch you will come to Point Breeze.

 There are two restaurants there worth the trip. The Lighthouse Restaurant....

And The Black North

I recommend both very highly!!!


And if you are even more adventurous, waaaaaaaaaayyyy down the road about an hour is Irondiquoit. What a beautiful area.

Death in the country



I know it is part of life. I know its the country, but a few weeks ago Jasper and Jeffery caught
a rabbit in the back yard. It could not get out and I heard the scream, the rabbit scream. Jeffery had the bunny. I finally got the two dogs in the house and was going to help the bunny get out I  of the  yard somehow, but when I got to it, it was too late, I could see it was not moving. I could see it was gone. Still warm, but gone.
I cried. I wailed cried. It was raining and I was in the back yard crying because the rabbit was killed, innocently. I was deeply disturbed by this. I went to get the shovel and in the pouring rain, I could not lift the rabbit, even touch it with the long shovel. The rabbit layed there for 3 days in the pouring rain until I could finally muster the nerve to get it into a body bag and dispose of it.
Well, a co-worker after hearing my sad story said "Well, where are the babies?", "Babies????"  I said it was a male bunny, it was rather big it looked more male than maternal. Well, the next week, I was mowing the side lawn, the grass was so high from all the rain.........and there it happened, A baby bunny flew out from under my push mower, dying in front of my eyes....this was worse than anything I had ever experienced. I cried and wailed up and down the driveway, so terribly upset. I had two friends on their way over, we were going to the Lilac Festival in Rochester. It is true, your best friend will help you bury the body. I could not even go over there and look. These deaths have deeply disturbed me. How would I ever be able to have chickens or a goat? Maybe I needed this insight. Yesterday, it was Jasper's 8th birthday. My little love. I spent the day spending money at the garden nurseries with Katherine, I was potting herbs, I left the fence gate open, Mr Houdini escaped and I was not paying attention. I didn't even know how long he had been wandering. I had no idea which way he went. I was yelling up and down the street, was he in the apple orchard behind me? I was frantic, I just gave him a bath and his collar was off. Finally, there he was ACROSS THE STREET. ACROSS ROUTE 63 THE TRUCKING . ROUTE.  18  wheelers all day long!!!!! His only saving grace may have been the fact that it is 30 MPH here. I have been thanking God every 5 minutes. Before I fell asleep cozy with my boys beside me I knew this could have been a different ending to this day and I thank God for saving my little Jasper from harm. I will never never never leave that gate ajar. It reminds me of the first time I went across the street by myself, I was around 3 or 4 on Skillen st and my mom spanked me so hard. My dad came home and I told him mom already spanked me and that didn't matter, he spanked me too. Just now it came to me, a year or two before that my brother Lonnie drowned. I was 9 months old. They did not want to lose yet another child to an accident. I KNOW I should not even be thinking this......but I also had a couple beloved dogs get hit by cars on my mother's watch, or should I call it Un-watch. I had such rage toward my mother growing up. Could it be because of this? And now yesterday, I did what she did. I am not sure what I need to learn from this. Right now it is to be more mindful of my animals and keep an eye on them, which I usually am ever watchful most times. Death in the country is not something I want to get used to.

Off Track ...Getting Back

I bought a book for my Nook, called 12 X12  about living in a one room cabin off grid. I was listening to an old podcast interview from hundreds I have stored on my PC at work. It was random, but of course, I do not believe in coincidence.....
It reminded me of how almost a year ago, I was in one of my goal oriented "modes" of learning, researching and finding out everything I possibly could about doing just what this book is about, living self-sufficiently in a small cabin in the woods. I have a huge 3 ring binder 5 inches thick of my notes, and print outs of all of this, from raising chickens to what kind of wood to use in a wood stove, composting toilets and solar panels, digging a well to raising edible weeds........Heck, that's why I started this blog. I was going to chronicle everything I did to get there.
Almost a year ago I was sitting in my city home, ordering Country Living books, Mother Earth  and learning to make pepper jelly!
And then I went camping in Allegheny with no electricity, all alone, two seconds after my menopause symptoms started.
It scared the Country outta me!!!!  But not so much that I did not pick my self up and move out here. Best thing I ever did.
Every day gets better and better, greener and warmer. I am sitting here on my porch looking out at my adorable little Lyndonville village and I feel so blessed! Every morning on my way to work I exclaim, God Spoils me!!!! My menopause symptoms seemed to have disappeared after January as well. But I am prepared if they come back.

The book is really awesome, I just started it but am enjoying it immensely. I have also stumbled upon a new podcast to add to my menagerie of podcasts that I listen to. I download them and listen either on my porch, at my desk or on my drives to and from work. They are talk show podcasts. This one ( two shows actually) is by Dee Wallace and I really love it. Conscious Creation or Bright Light. This way of thinking has brought me into a positive mind. I am no longer thinking negative unhealthy thoughts. I am a delight to be around my mind lately. Another excellent show to listen to is Denise Linn on Hayhouse. I just love her spirit and her radiant joy. And she loves chickens and goats like I do!!!

But lastly, I had been so pre-occupied with my weight, and exercise and trying to transform my body into a hot Victoria's Secret model body......ain't happening! But I had been so obsessed with getting home and running on the treadmill, doing the Insanity or 10 minute trainer video, and when I don't do it I am so disappointed with myself. And then like a revelation I asked myself, what would really really make me happy? And I remembered how wonderful and alive and fulfilled I felt doing my yoga! So I am returning back to Yoga. Especially to Yoga Today that transformed my life when I used to do it daily when I lived in Albion and I would sit and watch the sun set. I am getting back to that. Now, I do not dread my workout, I look forward to it!

So I am on my fab porch and I need to get back to my book.

More to come.....

Me at my fire pit last Mother's day......

Lazy Lazy Lazy

It seems as soon as I moved out here to Lyndonville, I got lazy lazy lazy. I did. And the weeks have been racing by so fast. Every time I turn around its Friday! I am not complaining. It has been a whirlwind of change everywhere. New home, new drive in and back, new department. I bid on a job and got it and am excited to be transfering to a different department in IT. And then there is my personal life, which I am not going to share publicly because I want to cherish every single fantastic, spectacular, breathtaking moment. All I will say is, never give up on what is in your heart,,,,,you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. Pinch me.

We had a wild storm last week. 83 MPH winds that knocked down a lot of beautiful, large, old trees. It was very sad to see the several towns I drive through, people everywhere sawing and cutting up those trees. We were saturated with weeks of rainfall before the winds so it was a recipe for disaster.

Gasport



Part of my laziness has also been due to the fact that it has been constantly rainy and cold. For weeks on end! So when I finally get home I don't want to do anything, not work out, not run, not do my Insanity or 10 minute workout or even easy yoga.......I just want to get in my most comfortable pjs and sit in front of the tv. Thank goodness someone has also been keeping me occupied with other things.

I still have allot of yard work to do. I am waiting for a nice day and it looks like tomorrow! I also have a recipe I will share with you too. I love chicken curry but when ever I make it, it seems kind of runny. Well, I found a fab recipe that basically has the same ingredients as Chicken Curry,  (green curry, coconut etc..) but you put it under the skin and then roast the chicken! I cannot wait to try this. I will serve with rice.

Oh, I have a back porch, and there was this old run down refrigerator there that I have been meaning to toss. Well, I looked at it closer and it is an upright FREEZER! What  I have been looking for. So I will clean that up as well, and start to stock it up!I It was like a present! I have been getting many karma presents lately! I feel so blessed and truly grateful for all in my life today. It has been one of the best springs in my life.......and I think it is just starting.  I feel like myself out here in the country, in my quaint little town. I'm the luckiest girl in the whole U.S.A.

more to come

sunrise on one of the BEST mornings of my life..........

Chocolate Chili Cake



I first heard this cake mentioned on a podcast for More Hip than Hippie.  I googled the recipe and have made it twice. I have shared it mainly with coworkers and have gotten rave reviews. It is really rich but I love it. The cayanne gives it a little bite after taste!

Ingredients

• 1 cup esspresso  I used coffee from the coffee
• 1 packed cup dark brown  sugar
• 3 cinnamon sticks
• 1 teaspoon ground   cayanne pepper 
• 3 sticks (12 ounces) unsalted butter, cubed
• 12 ounces semisweet  chocolate
• 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
• 8 large , eggs beaten

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Prepare a 9-inch spring form pan: Cut a circle of parchment the size of the removable bottom of the pan. Fit the parchment circle into the bottom of the pan. Tear off an 18-inch length of aluminum foil. Center the pan over the sheet of foil and crumple and crimp the foil all around the sides of the pan. (The foil will prevent water from seeping into the pan during baking.) Set the pan aside.
In a medium saucepan, bring the espresso, brown sugar and the cinnimon sticks to a simmer over very low heat. Simmer until the syrup is very fragrant, about 20 minutes. Stir in the butter until melted, and then stir in the cayenne pepper. Set aside.
 Chop the chocolate in smaller peices until coarsely chopped. Transfer to a deep bowl. Pour in the warm coffee syrup and whisk until the chocolate is completely melted. Whisk in the beaten eggs until completely blended.
Scrape the batter into the prepared pan. Set the pan in a large, deep,  roasting pan and set on the oven rack. Pour in enough water to come halfway up the sides of the pan. Bake until center is set and barely wiggles when you shake the pan gently, 50 to 60 minutes.
Cool the cake to room temperature. Remove the foil and chill the cake in the pan at least 8 hours. Run a wet knife around the sides of the pan then pop the spring to release. Place a platter on top of the cake and flip over. Remove the bottom of the pan, and peel off the parchment. Serve with cinnamon ice cream and raspberries.

Elena's Recipes

I am pretty sure that my love of cooking comes from my mom. She cooked. Boy did she cook. When her friends had parties, she was the one they called to cook. Her Philippine Club had a picnic it was my mom who roasted the pig. Once when I was a young teenager, she had brought home a baby pig, for the picnic. She wanted me to hold it while she slit its throat.........I ran as far as I could and I never ate barbque pig after that. Even today. But the Philippine foods she would cook, oh it was always soooo good. I have memories of weekends sitting watching black and white TV while mom was in the kitchen cooking up a storm and all the windows were fogged up. Pepsi was always on the table. Philippine friends were always over speaking Tagalog with mom. And the house was filled with her laughter. I miss moms laughter and cooking.

This year, I had my daughter and her boyfriend Mike over for dinner and I invited my brother and his family too. I made some of my mothers famous recipes. Many childhood friends now reacquainted on Facebook all commented on how they loved the things my mom cooked. So for the second time in my life, I made Panciet and Adobo, Leche flan and Lumpia.

I cooked all night, the Moday before the dinner. Just like mom did. I had the music on and it was exhausting work!!! But then Jerry Vale started singing and I knew, mom was there looking over my shoulder. Jerry was her favorite singer.

So here is the copy of recipes I shared with all the women in the family Tuesday night so they can practice cooking like their Grandam Elena.

Lumpia

Ingredients

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 pound ground pork

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup minced carrots

1/2 cup bean sprouts

1/2 cup chopped green onions

1/2 cup thinly sliced green cabbage

1 teaspoon ground black pepper

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon soy sauce

30 lumpia wrappers (eggroll wrappers)

2 cups vegetable oil for frying

Directions

1.    Place a wok or large skillet over high heat, and pour in 1 tablespoon vegetable oil. Cook pork, stirring frequently, until no pink is showing. Remove pork from pan and set aside. Drain grease from pan, leaving a thin coating. Cook garlic and onion in the same pan for 2 minutes. Stir in the cooked pork, carrots, green onions, and cabbage. Season with pepper, salt, garlic powder, and soy sauce. Remove from heat, and set aside until cool enough to handle.

2.    Place three heaping tablespoons of the filling diagonally near one corner of each wrapper, leaving a 1 1/2 inch space at both ends. Fold the side along the length of the filling over the filling, tuck in both ends, and roll neatly. Keep the roll tight as you assemble. Moisten the other side of the wrapper with water to seal the edge. Cover the rolls with plastic wrap to retain moisture.

3.    Heat a heavy skillet over medium heat, add oil to 1/2 inch depth, and heat for 5 minutes. Slide 3 or 4 lumpia into the oil. Fry the rolls for 1 to 2 minutes, until all sides are golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Serve immediately.

Pancit

Ingredients: 

1 8 oz. pack rice  noodles

1 cooked chicken breast, shredded

2 cups of chicken broth or 2 chicken bouillon cubes dissolved in 2 cups of water

1/4 cabbage, sliced into strips

1 onion, pealed and sliced

3 cloves of garlic, crushed and minced

1/3 cup scallions, cut into pieces

1 carrot, sliced into strips

2 tablespoons of cooking oil

3/4 cup diced celery

3 tablespoons soy sauce

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Soak the rice noodles to soften for 10 minutes

2. Grease a large pan or wok with oil. Sauté garlic and onions.

3. Add the chicken broth, the shredded chicken breast and all the vegetables until cooked.

4. Mix in the rice noodles and add the soy sauce, cook for about 5 minutes or until the noodles are soft.

5. Salt and pepper to taste.

Chicken or Pork Adobo

1 chicken pieces pork peices

5 or 6 large garlic cloves  (chopped)
  vegetable oil
1 tsp ground black pepper
4 whole black pepper cloves
3 dried bay leaves

   shredded fresh ginger
1 cup soy sauce
1 cup vinegar
7-up or Sprite (optional)

Remember to wash your chicken very well. We recommend using   lemon to scrub all over the chicken parts and rub some salt into it as well.

Heat oil and add all of the garlic, and cook until garlic is lightly browned. Add chicken and sauté until the chicken is beginning to tenderize.

Add ground black pepper, whole black pepper cloves, bay leaves, soy sauce, and vinegar, and let simmer for 25-35 minutes or until chicken is done.

Taste and adjust to suit your taste (should be a bit tangy). When chicken is tender, you may add some 7-Up or Sprite if you prefer a sweeter taste, and let simmer for 5 more minutes.

Serve over rice.

Leche Flan

Caramel:

1 cup sugar
3/4 cup water

Put sugar and water in a saucepan. Caramelize in medium heat until sugar is dissolved. Pour into flan molds or custard cups, tilting the mold to make sure the whole surface (about less than 1 cm) is covered. The more caramel you pour into the molds the sweeter the leche flan.

Custard:

8 egg yolks
1 can evaporated and 1 can condensed sweetened milk
1 tbsp. vanilla

1. In a large bowl, combine all custard ingredients. Stir lightly when mixing to prevent bubbles or foam from forming. Strain slowly while pouring into caramel lined flan mold.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Cover mold with tin foil. Put molds into a bigger tray filled with water. Bake in oven for one hour or until mixture is firm. cool before unmolding on a platter.

Put molds in a bigger tray/ baking pan filled with water.

Bake in oven for one hour or until mixture is firm. Cool before unmolding on a platter.

Mom (Elena) covered with mandarin oranges.

It was really hard work and I couldn't wait to melt into my memory foam, in anticipation for the next day. The dinner was really nice. The food turned out really good. It was wonderful to spend time with my family and we went through my mom's small suitcase of pictures that I recently was reunited with. Baby pictures and wedding pictures. For a short time the windows were steamed up and there was laughter in the house.

So Simple and So Good!

Why didn't I ever think of this before? It is so simple and yet soooo delish.  I was hankering for Christmas cut out cookies so I know, I know, I made some last night. I knew in the back of my cupboard somewhere I had sprinkles. How old? Oh I don't know, OLD. Then I remembered, I have some candy canes so I crushed them in a zip lock and sprinkled them on the cookies as soon as I iced them. Sprinkle fast as the icing hardens rather quickly.  Ice, sprinkle, ice, sprinkle. It's almost as good as Peppermint Bark, my other favorite.

Ingredients

• 4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks)
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
•  Icing, recipe follows
• Candy Canes crushed in a zip lock bag

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a bowl, stir together flour and baking powder. In another bowl, beat butter with sugar until fluffy and light. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir in flour mixture, a third at a time to make a stiff dough. Divide dough into 4 pieces. Roll out a portion of cookie dough to 1/4 inch thick. Cut out shapes using cookie cutters. Place on lightly greased or nonstick cookie sheets. I use parchment paper, bake untl lightly golden, about 10-15 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through cooking time. Cool completely before decorating.

Colored Icing:
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons water or milk use your judgement
In a small bowl, mix sugar and water to form a thick, smooth icing.  Drop icing onto cookies using a small teaspoon and smooth with the back of the spoon. 

Dreams shattered? Pick up the peices......begin again.

You haven't heard from me in a while because I thought.....well the main reason for this blog, my attempts to live sufficiently at most, in the woods, a long time dream....was shattered. As long as could remember, I wanted to be just like my mentor and my hero Anne Labastille, I read all her Woodswoman books. I wanted to be her! She lived in the woods with her German Shepherds, that WAS ME!!!

 I felt for so long I had moved toward this dream and in one weekend, it disappeared and I was kind of lost, and just floated along not sure where to anchor.

Well, it seems that it was a combination of situations that Thanksgiving week that now, weeks later I can observe with better knowledge at what may have happened.
The first reason was the week before our Allegheny vacation it was all over the news about a 92 year old man that was missing in Allegheny State Park. He was never found. I was there only the second week of this and knowing he was out there just hung eerily in the background of my mind.

My mind. That week, I know now, I was NOT stable. I am giving you too much information, but here it is. My calendar said that week I should have my monthly female "you know".  It worried me only because of Bears or wild animals, could they "tell"? and find me? A week or two before that I started getting these "glowing" feelings, since then I have just installed a large fan on the top of my desk for these glowing things we now call hot flashes. That week in Allegheny was the beginning of my menopause. Yep. Now that I can look back on it. That was it. So now that I have voraciously scoured the Internet on information on menopause, another symptom is anxiety attacks. Which is what scared the daylights out of me by 5 pm every evening because it was so dark out, and I was alone in the woods like a nut. hahaha

So I came home early, dreams shattered. Not sure if I could ever live in the woods alone now. And as I said, I just drifted through it day after day, kind of in a limbo, not sure what to pin my hopes and dreams on. I am a Capricorn and we always have to have a goal. I was goal-less.

So this Christmas morning I woke up and turned on my fake electric fireplace and put the Yule log on TV and sat down to read in my favorite corner of my couch. I did not want to finish reading New Passages by Gail Sheehy. It is a very good book and gives us hope for those of us in mid life. But not on Christmas. I wanted to read something more "winter-y". So I picked up We Took to the Woods by Louise Rich. Now that my panic over menopause is over. I have come to accept my hot flashes and am alot more stable and I am taking some herbal remedies, eating healthy and exercising somewhat regularly.......I started reading Louise's words. Slowly, she brought me back into her world, I could almost hear the crunch of the leaves under my feet walking in the woods, I could smell the wood burning in the fireplace. Oh how I envy her! Did I just say that? And in that quick of an instant, I had realized that I still want to live in the country, maybe not alone in the middle of the woods like Anne or Louise, but pretty close to it. One day. No more fake fireplaces I want my own wood burning stove. I want to walk through the crunchy leaves to the wood pile to gather my wood for the day. When my boys have lived a good and happy life, I WILL get a German Shepherd puppy. I am pretty sure that when I retire, I will be in a cabin somewhere......

December? Already?

December? Is it really? I am just not in the December winter mode. Even with the light dusting of snow on the ground and last weeks traumatic events of people stranded on the thruway just miles south of me.....I just do not feel, well, winter-y.
I was thinking of getting out the Christmas decorations. Maybe that will help. It is the last month of the year and I guess I should be making my goals for 2011, which I did think about when my daughter told me she had her goals for 2011. But my recent vacation in the Allegheny cabin has thrown me for a loop and I am in this weird limbo of my life. For the longest time I thought I wanted to live in a cabin in the woods. I thought about saving up to buy land and build a small cabin in the country. Close to the man I love so it would be easier for us to see each other. And I do not want to jinx our future by "assuming" anything, but if I don't "assume" am I manifesting that we would not live together or get married? I am in a juxtaposition. So as a Capricorn and an analyst, I tackled my goal like a "project". Doing lots and lots of research, even creating this blog to share what I learn with others that wish to do the same. To build a self-sufficient lifestyle. I even got caught up a little in the "survivalist" mode for a little while.
Don't get me wrong, I still plan on the Self-Sufficient lifestyle. And I will keep water, canned goods, etc. stocked "just in case". But I think I have watered down my plans a bit. I do love the cooking from scratch methods. But after 5 or 6 tries for some reason I just can't bake a good bread!!! It has disappointed me! I want chickens and goats but I could never handle it if something killed them. I know I could live with less electricity off grid on Solar. So I am not abandoning my dreams. I will just work toward them slower than I had planned.
I still love my life. I am the most blessed woman I know! The house I am currently in is the most comfortable I have been in for years now and really feels like a home to me. And as long as Wegman's makes all kinds of fabulous bread, I really don't have to wait 2 days to bake my own. As a Capricorn, I will continue to trudge on like the mountain goat that I am climbing those mountains. I am just not sure what mountain I am on.

Party like its 1829!

Well, we are back from our week at the Allegheny Cabin. For a long time now I have been talking about "retiring" to my "Cabin in the Woods", confident that I would have no problem downsizing my living arrangements. Living possibly off grid. My own sustainable homestead. I thought  maybe I should test it out, so I rented a cabin with no electricity. We got there early, not in the dark and pouring rain like last year. Last year we had electricity. The size did not bother me, the scenery was just gorgeous, cooking  was easy! Food in the coolers - no problem. Give me a wood burning stove and I am happy. The girl in the check in office even let me switch my cabin to one right on a creek! She even helped me find a cabin with NO other people around. So we were the only one's in the loop. Which I believe might have been my mistake. Because the second night at 5 P.M. I opened the door and looked outside and I thought someone threw a huge black tarp over the cabin, it was that dark outside. No of course there aren't street lights in the wilderness! This kind of freaked me out at night. During the day we went on many walks along the creek. It was hunting season so I made sweaters for the boys out of a hunting vest. We cooked some great meals and I got some good book reading in. But always near sundown, that is when I started to get a little freaky. I realized one night how absolutely insane it seemed me laying there in the middle of the wilderness all by myself with two small dogs! You know how you morph your thoughts until they seem surreal if you keep thinking about it. What was I thinking????? The radio kept warning of a snow storm so we left a few days early. I know now that I do not mind a smaller home, wood for heat, or even rough cooking. I do miss my Internet and electricity and refrigeration. What did I miss the most? Running water and a bright lamp tie for first place. So I have ruled out a cabin in the woods for now. I am now leaning toward a nice Craftsman bungalow instead........

100 Mile Radius dinner

Friday we went to Becker Farms and Vizcarra Vineyard's 100 Mile Radius Meal. To think I only lived a mile away from this great place. They tell you the history of the farm at the beginning of the meal. All the food on the menu is from within a 100 miles of the farm. The food was absolutely incredible and so was the wine. They also offered an Amber beer that was very tasty. I would definitely attend again. The point is that you should support your local farms as often as you can. Next year I plan to return to Porter Farm's CSA.



Got Milk? Coffee? Tea? or Me?

On the porch and the coffee is gooooooood.

As I poured myself yet another cup of coffee today, I had a question for myself. I have been trying to change over my regular habits to healthy, organic and greener habits. For YEARS I have always drank my coffee with sweet and low and powdered creamer. I became addicted to powdered creamer when I was pregnant with my daughter 25 years ago. I became a "sweet and low" fanatic a few years after that. So when I started becoming this health nut, I was appalled at what I had been doing to my body for so many years. And honey, I am not one of those 1 or 2 cups a day girl. I like a nice cup of coffee around 2 in the afternoon and I make a pot of coffee every night around 7 pm. It does not affect my sleep whatsoever! I did finally break myself of the habit of having to have a sweet (slice of pie or cake with frosting sweet) with my 7pm coffee. I said break not totally quit.......
I cannot and will not give up coffee. I have bought organic herbal coffee and I do have a jar of Caffix in my work desk that I do like occasionally. But I love coffee.

After listening to a podcast on More Hip than Hippie about Raw Milk, for cream I now make my own. I buy heavy cream, which I use for cooking etc. and I mix 1/2 heavy cream and 1/2 water. Why, because heavy cream is the least pasteurized. I mix it with water because I do not need the calories or the heaviness. I do not mix it with regular milk because I would be defeating the purpose of less pasturization.  I like the idea of Raw Milk. I have not had any yet but plan to soon. I found a dairy in Medina that sells it. Once I move to that area I plan to buy my milk from them. I could get my own goats and have my own milk and maybe one day I will. I have not had goats milk either. So I need to try that. I do love the cheese. So a couple things to add to my list of "to do's" Maybe I will take a ride out to get the Raw milk and blog about it!
As for the Sweet and Low, I have found Sweet Leaf, it is the most natural sweetener that I have found. Please, please, please do not believe everything you hear about Truvia. It is processed and owned by Cargill. The same thing about Agave nectar, the real true Agave nectar is produced solely in Mexico
So do your research! I used to feel so guilty about one of my guilty pleasures. I feel better now when I have my coffee. And mmmmmm I smell it now........

More of the same

Barb is coming over tomorrow, we are going to make more pepper jelly, this time I got more hot peppers so this will have more of a kick to it. Sizzle. I am making more chiabatta bread. Practice makes perfect! 
I got my solar iPod charger the other day. My first solar panel! Haha. Slowly but surely. I am learning.

Home SWEET home

I was driving to my sweet's lake house to deliver his birthday sweets. On the way there I am driving on some of my favorite roads, RT 104, 31, 63 and I got lost near Waterport because the Oak Orchard River rd bridge was closed but I didn't care. I love to meander around this area and I found my way finally driving through the town of Lyndonville. I love Lyndonville. This is the area I want to have my Barefoot Hippie Homestead in. I love this comfy cozy little town and I did not realize how much I missed it until I started coming out this way again. There is also something about beautiful Lake Ontario that calls to me. I live about a mile from Lake Erie and I do not get the pull and the calling from Lake Erie that I do from Lake Ontaio. Is it because of my sweet? My love? Well, it is because of him I moved to Gasport, and Albion and had an RV on Lake Ontario in 2006. It is because of him I made those decisions but while there, I fell in love with the area. Would I have fallen in love if I wasn't falling in love? It is not hard to say. 90% of the decisions I make are because of the man I have loved since 2003. Even the decision to move to Denver away from him was mainly because of him. I felt so strongly about him that I had to put thousands of miles between us so I could try to forget him. Look how well that worked. The pull I have toward him is greater than what Lake Ontario does to me. It is like jumping out of a plane (which he has done hundreds of times) with out a parachute and I fall willingly toward him because I know he will be there to catch me.

Jeffery's Lake house views of Lake Ontario

Mystic Meadows Daylily Farm

The pond (yes it's stocked) at Pam's place. She has stalls and outbuildings and lots and lots of land!

I am SOOOOOO jealous!!!

Barb and I took a drive out to S. Wales to visit our good friend Pam. She has a beautiful homestead! She bought the place, hundreds of acres back in the 90's when we were all still party girls and I could not understand why. Slowly she dropped out of the scene as we continued to party on. But now many many years later, way past my party prime, I understand. While me and Barb were doing shots, Pam was fixing, and hammering, and gutting and remodeling, adding and removing, digging, and planting. And now she has a beautiful homestead to show for it. She  also has a very successful Daylily Farm website. She is doing what she loves and loving where she lives.
Oh and I also found out that her brother in law Tim, who I have known for ever! His company now does Solar and Wind installation! How great is that???? Some one I can trust with some thing that is definitely going to be in my future! His company is Buffalo Greenworks.
And having a homestead does not mean you have to live in an ugly old house. Look at how beautiful Pam has made her place!

Her Great, great room that used to be the garage! I could just live in this room alone!

Barb and Pam

Barb in the gorgeous kitchen

Bathroom





Her three donkeys