December? Already?

December? Is it really? I am just not in the December winter mode. Even with the light dusting of snow on the ground and last weeks traumatic events of people stranded on the thruway just miles south of me.....I just do not feel, well, winter-y.
I was thinking of getting out the Christmas decorations. Maybe that will help. It is the last month of the year and I guess I should be making my goals for 2011, which I did think about when my daughter told me she had her goals for 2011. But my recent vacation in the Allegheny cabin has thrown me for a loop and I am in this weird limbo of my life. For the longest time I thought I wanted to live in a cabin in the woods. I thought about saving up to buy land and build a small cabin in the country. Close to the man I love so it would be easier for us to see each other. And I do not want to jinx our future by "assuming" anything, but if I don't "assume" am I manifesting that we would not live together or get married? I am in a juxtaposition. So as a Capricorn and an analyst, I tackled my goal like a "project". Doing lots and lots of research, even creating this blog to share what I learn with others that wish to do the same. To build a self-sufficient lifestyle. I even got caught up a little in the "survivalist" mode for a little while.
Don't get me wrong, I still plan on the Self-Sufficient lifestyle. And I will keep water, canned goods, etc. stocked "just in case". But I think I have watered down my plans a bit. I do love the cooking from scratch methods. But after 5 or 6 tries for some reason I just can't bake a good bread!!! It has disappointed me! I want chickens and goats but I could never handle it if something killed them. I know I could live with less electricity off grid on Solar. So I am not abandoning my dreams. I will just work toward them slower than I had planned.
I still love my life. I am the most blessed woman I know! The house I am currently in is the most comfortable I have been in for years now and really feels like a home to me. And as long as Wegman's makes all kinds of fabulous bread, I really don't have to wait 2 days to bake my own. As a Capricorn, I will continue to trudge on like the mountain goat that I am climbing those mountains. I am just not sure what mountain I am on.